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Showing posts from 2013

Just Fart -- Practical Optimism

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So last night Bunny and I finally got a chance to go to bed early at 11PM.  We fell into our bed with fits of giggles as if it was the best thing ever after gorging on some extra chocolatey cake (which we did as I made him two huge chocolate cakes for his so-called Russian Cure treatment). But something quickly put a damper on our mood. 

The Question We All Ask At Some Point In Our Lives -- Why Me?

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Why Me?  I just asked myself two hours ago.  Welcome to my first experience of being scammed online.  No.  I didn't actually get any money scammed away.  But I lost 2 hours of my life that I can never get back.  All thanks to a group of people who rather spend their time thinking of schemes to trick people's money than to use the time and energy to make something out of it.

Keep a Chicken Handy

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So I guess I didn't get Lyme's Disease or Colorado Tick Fever....or at least that's what that fading bug bite is trying to convince me.  The swelling has finally subsided and no bull eye's target mark.  Interesting enough is that BBC has posted an article on how some people are really more attractive to mosquitoes than other people.  I can really relate to that.

Practical Optimism #2 -- Be Content With Your Office Desk

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It's Monday again!  Today my practical optimism wisdom to you is -- be content with your office desk.  You may be ready to throw a punch at me for telling you to be content with your office desk and tell me that I'm a bitch who lounges all day in her PJs and knows nothing about the suffering you go through daily at that desk (which is entirely false!...well on most days).  But hold it for a sec.  I have a darn good reason for saying that.  You know a while ago where I was happy that I finally have an office to myself?  Well that office desk was a make-shift desk.  In fact it is a foldable picnic food table purchased at Walmart for $32. Yes I'm Walmart's whore.  But it's the first proper store in next town -- 10.4 miles to be exact (I googled.  And no, there is ONLY a tiny grocery store, a gas station, a laundromat, a cornerstore, a coffeeshop, a burger joint, and a restaurant in our town).  So Matt Damon in "We Bought A Zoo", don't you start wit

Conversation between Hubby and Wifey: The Afterglow

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This takes place during today's afternoon.  After a very very long hour of exercise, Wifey decides to reward herself with a facial (I don't know who thinks exercise is fun, but certainly not me).  She walks into the bathroom and slathers a transparent cooling gel substance onto her face.  As she finishes and proceeds to wash her hands, hubby steps in and just about to ask a question when he suddenly stops, looks perplexed and amazed at Wifey's face. W: What? (looks slightly embarrassed by the fact that she got caught wearing a mask) H: Wow, look what a little bit of exercise can do!! (Guess who was it that kindly "suggested" Wifey should work out.  Health freak!) W: Eh? (Very confused at the comment since she is definitely sure she just didn't lose 5 pounds from that workout and now look like a super model.) H: You all sparkly and glowy! (Insert wild hand gesturing.) W: It's my facial gel. (Rolls eyes as far back into her eye sockets as poss

The New Girl Dry Fish Life

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  Since last night I have been feverishly watching the Japanese soap opera "Hotaru no Hikari" (direct translation: "Life of a Dry Fish Girl".  I have to admit shamefully that I could be classified as a Dry Fish Girl.  When not going out, I do roam around my home in sleep wear.  I do roll around the floor quite a bit.  I guess the difference is that my mess is much more controlled. 0  Then again, my hubby was exclaiming the fact that I am Jess from "The New Girl" while he accompanied me watching the show on Hulu.  Obviously and naturally I denied it.  Then he went through the reasons: 1) I do make up silly songs and dance and proudly do my "gig" around the house without worrying my neighbors hearing me (Fine...I do do that...) 2) I love glitter (Who doesn't!?!) 3) I skip around instead of walking like a normal human being (I do skip around like a normal human being!) 4) I love skirts and dresses (Hello!  I'm a GIRL!) 5) I&#

Practical Optimism #1 -- Be Content to Eat Indoor

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 You know whenever you flip through some home design magazine or pinterest (yes I'm a pinterest addict), there must be some extraordinary designs that are just so gorgeous yet you can't help but think "What if...?"  Take this photo for instance.  Doesn't if give you the whole "I wish I were there to enjoy dinner with my loved ones and friends"?  I hate to break it to you.  It's okay this doesn't happen in your life.   First of all, there aren't many places in the world that would like you put up all this near a beach unless you have access to a beautiful beach.  Second of all, it is a lot of work to bring everything to the beach for the occasion.  And let's face it, in one way or another, you are creating pollution and damage to the beach by leaving behind some trash on the beautiful sand.  But most of all, life always dish out something we are not expecting no matter how much planning and speculations are put into the decision making.

Is This a Sign that I'm Gaining Audience?

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I just received a comment on my article " Always Listen To Your Lioness " (for those who wants to read what's it about, please click on the link).  I have to say, that's by far one of the most read articles I've created.  When I clicked on it to see what the comment was about, I was hoping that it would be a nice or funny complement about what I wrote.  Since I'm always so lucky, I was also half-guessing that it could be my first hate-mail.  Instead, it was...

The Newest American Horror Story

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After a marathon of the first season of "New American Horror Story" and finally getting into bed, Wifey messes hair up and decides to play the Japanese ghost girl.  Yup.  That's the problem of marrying an Asian girl who loves horror flicks.  Smack the combination together, you'll get a wife who loves to freak you out just 'cause.  Well plus it's fun to see what it takes to get an all-macho guy squealing like a little pig.  Though I have to say, my hubby is a tough nut to crack.  Damn you Nut!  So anyway, back to the story...

What Good Wives Should Know about Enema

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Hubby is required to take these antibiotic pills after he had some work done on his teeth.  Yup.  All thanks to chugging 4 Monster Drinks a day for a whole year.  Anyone who's reading this, stop with the Monster Drinks.  I'm serious.  Switch back to good ole' coffee.  I know it'll give you stains.  But at least you'll still have your teeth. Anyways, that was the background story that led to this conversation...

More Art on A Whim

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I don't know why, why I thought owls are awesome, and I should make something with owls in it.  So I went to town with the idea.

Tadaaaa! Look What I Made!

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Sloth Day Shirt by MochiWay Browse Sloth T-Shirts online at Zazzle.com Instead of being a sloth these days, I've been hard at work at a little project.  Since I'm always doodling and such, I've decided that I would like to try my hand at selling my designs and crazy ideas on Zazzle and Cafepress.  I've looked through all the regulations and have been so busy experimenting with dimensions, pixels, and all that technical stuff.  It's still far from officially being called a real store, but we all have to start from somewhere right?  So here's my latest invention from the Sloth Day concept.  It's a nice hint for your significant others.   For those who are having problem reading the text on the shirt. Here's what it says:  Wonder why sloths always have that smile on their face but look strangely evil at the same time? Choose:  1) They are having stomach cramps.  2) Their stomach cramps are keeping them up at night.  3)

Sloth Days

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 You know why sloths always have that smile on their face but sometimes look strangely evil at the same time?  That's because they are gritting their teeth and wishing they can stab someone with their sharp talons.  No joke.  Because I am feeling that right now.  Enter my sloth days.  I have been feeling sluggish last couple of days.  After putting in 14 hours of work daily last week, I felt that my brain was a bit fried.  At the same time having my period coming soon, my energy level has dropped to sloth level.  I venomously hate this little time frame from expecting my period to the second day of my period.  During the time, I could barely keep my eyes open.  Just on Friday when I needed to crush out my last assignment before the weekend started, I downed a 2L bottle of diet Pepsi.  On top of that, I felt extra crummy.  I was on my way to losing some weights for summer.  Well my pre-period fairy decided to add 5 pounds of water retention to my weight.  Even though I know it

46?

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Although beauty rest upon the beholder's eyes, you can't deny that the general population tends to find Nicole Kidman within the descriptions of being beautiful and gorgeous (except the minorities which include Karl Lagerfeld).  Well guess what I just found out?   She's 46 years old today.   Yup.   And should I mention that Halle Berry is also 46 and has recently announced that she's pregnant?  It seems that these days women are really pushing the age boundaries in all directions.  But how does these public figures affect women in general?  The term "aging gracefully" seems to border on extinction and replaced by "young forever" these days.  In Asian cultures, a new term "Wicca Beauty" is coined recently to refer to women who physically defies the normal aging process.  These women in their late 40s and early 50s continue to maintain the figure and skin of an early 20 year old attractive girl.  In interviews, these women all

It's Summer and New Page Layout Time!

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Phew!  I finally finished revamping my blog!  As I finally found my comfort in setting my office, I had no reason to not blog anymore.  But every time I stared at my old blog, I felt that all the sudden my inspirations and ideas got sucked into internet abyss.  That crude look of my blog was simply an anti-muse.  So I decided I needed a layout that is more "me".  So here it is, my new blog.  In a way that header stand for what I strive for in life -- to make something that is original, practical, yet slightly romantic and girlie from something that is natural or recycled.  All the sudden, there is a click in my brain.  So now it all becomes clear.  In last term, my teachers and classmates often used the phrase "This is so YOU!" or "This isn't your style."  I was frustrated by these two comments as I was puzzled by the definition of "my style".  What IS my style?  Having put all my energy and effort into my assignments and projects, it wa

My Little Boy is No Longer A Baby

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Today is Max's birthday!  He is officially one year old and no longer a "puppy".  We've been so much this year ever since Bunny and I adopted this little rascal.  When we first got him, he was so skinny and addicted to pot (he would search out the reefers on sidewalks and follow suspicious people smoking weed on the street).  Yes you just heard it.  Max was addicted to the smell of weed as he was born in Oakland from some marijuana grower who wanted two giant dogs to guard their grow op.  Well those two giant German Shepherd and Husky got a little too busy humping and resulted in many puppies. One of them turns out to be Max.

A Dream Come True

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  It's been forever since I last blogged!  I just feel the impending responsibility and need to write something.  I know this doesn't look much, but I just have to share it -- my own little nook to call my own!  Today I finally managed to clear out enough packing boxes full of Bunny's junk belongings that were sitting in the middle of my nook area and was able get to the boxes that held my books and belongings.  I don't know if anyone feels the same way I do about bookcases full of books that are on your interests.  Whenever I catch a glimpse of that little bookcase as I come up to the second floor of our home, I can't help but let out a little happy sigh.  Yes.  I am a book worm and an organizing freak.  Seeing books lined up nicely on shelves makes me feel like the world is at peace.  I simply can't wait til I get to organize the rest of my office/nook.   But sadly I do have to wait.  

Watch Out for Donkey Lady and 7 Things to Never Buy Used -- Mochi Edition

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I know I should be busy packing right now, but my fingers feel the urge to blog.  Yup.  I'm addicted to blogging.  Bunny will not be impressed when he catches me stuck in front of my laptop again.  Earlier this afternoon, he snugged up behind me as I was studying a picture about the Texas urban legend of the Donkey Lady after I read about it from The Cowardly Feminist blog " Glutton for punishment ".  I was thinking that the woman in the picture looked much more like zebra fish lady than donkey lady (but I have to give it to them for the history and story about the crazy ghostie) when he said, "Now what the HECK are you watching now?" Me: Donkey Lady.  It's kinda like that recent horror flick "Mama" but she got that way from being burnt and shit.  This looks like a fish lady though.  Like that character from that Japanese cartoon I showed you where the cute penguin turns out to be a fly devil that loves to eat shit (yes I love to watch twisted

Always Listen To Your Lioness

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More People May Suffer From This Disorder Than You Think

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This morning I just realized that more people suffer from this disorder than any other disorders in the world.  It is called KSDmania (also known as kyonskatadiasporamania). What is it, you may wonder? And what are its symptoms?  So let me tell you.  It is very similar to kleptomania.  It's a disorder where people feel the urge to not pick up their dog's poop and get a thrill from secretly committing this crime and getting away from it!  I mean why else would they just not pick up their dog's shit?  The usual excuse is they forgot to grab a plastic bag for such an occasion.  Here I present the evidence that it is just a lie, and that they are really going after that thrive of being caught for not picking up the dog poop.   

Tips for Guys: Period Bomb Traps

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Sometimes have you guys wonder why a girl is suddenly acting like she's a love child of Godzilla and Sharon Stone from Basic Instinct, rampaging around without a logical reason ready to stab you any moment?  (Hubby describes it more like The Gremlin has eaten after midnight , The Animal has landed, an evil spirit possession, a dark cloud looming over...he's starting to digress over to the Sauron eye thingie.)  Period or premenstrual cramps are usually the culprit.  Just to scar you mentally for the rest of your lives, I will rely my friend's description of how it feels when a girl is having her period:   "It feels like you are constantly peeing warm jelly and have no control over it especially when you stand up from sitting for a long time.  That pain in your stomach feels like someone has rammed a rusty metal spoon inside you scrapping your insides with the jagged edges of the spoon.  You constantly want to pee and wonder if that sudden "woosh" will caus

If Everyone is Unique, Does That Mean We Are All The Same?

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After reading Maria Nichol's blog about Chelsea Handler mocking Taylor Swift , I became all angsty when I was this supposedly funny post on Facebook:

Dove Commercial and Dead Turkey Trigger a Deja-vu Moment

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So this afternoon there was a knock at the door.  When I opened the door, I was stunned.  I mean how often do you see a guy holding a dead turkey upside down standing at your door?  And when I mean turkey, it was the size of a Jurassic era turkey.  Well maybe not Jurassic era turkey, but it was definitely huge with its plumage all fluffed up from the upside down position.  It looked quite dead as droplets of blood slowly trickled down from its wound. Remember what I said yesterday about people being friendly here?  Well this neighbor of mine thought it was a gesture of welcoming us by offering his first kill of this turkey hunting season to us.  It was really a great offer, but I knew too well to accept this giant turkey.  You know why?  Because I'm Chinese. I'm assuming anyone reading this blog is waiting impatiently for a more "logical" explanation.  Beware, the next paragraph contains gory details of massacring chickens.

Colorado Brokeback Mountain Cowboys Live in A Teepee

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That title caught your attention didn't it?  Well that is a summary of this blog, I'm not kidding ya. I did promise to tell all about my "cultural experience" at the community fundraiser for local firefighters from this past Saturday.  For those who have no idea what I am talking about, feel free to refer to " Its-wrap-up-for-this-week ".   Once again, it has been proven that Bunny and time are non-mixy.  Instead of looking up the time of the fundraiser dinner, he just assumed it begins at 8.  So when we walked up to the community hall building, we learned that the roast pig dinner was over judging by the cook and servers all smoking outside next to the roaster.  But hearing the music blaring inside, we guessed the party was still on. So we went in casually only to stop dead in the tracks at the entrance reception desk.  At the moment, I was pretty sure all eyes were fixed on me, the ONLY Asian in the whole friggin' community hall.  Although only two

Conversations Between Husband and Wife

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After chomping down my dinner in hamster mode, I picked up my dishes and walked into the kitchen.  There they are again -- dishes piled NOT in the sink but on the chopping board close to the sink.  So I turned to Bunny who was busy stuffing his face full of cinnamon buns that I made just for him last Friday (Yup that's how much I love him.  I made 3 dozens of cinnamon buns of various tastes and didn't even eat one bite at all). Me: Why do you never put the dirty dishes in the sink? Bunny: I don't want to overwhelm the sink (as if the sink would burst into tears any moment from the dirtiness surrounding it). Me: There is nothing in the sink!  Plus those dishes are really dirty.  I mean you just left them on the ground after you ate so that Max could lick on them.  Now you are putting them on the board that I chop food on.  Basically you're eating dirt off the floor. Bunny: Wha?  You're not suppose to chop food on that board.  Plus I always chop food on this

It's a Wrap-up for This Week

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Here I sit on my make-shift work desk, I am already fantasizing about next week's move and finally getting a room as my own office!  As I have learned, sharing an office sucks when one person (all I can say is that it's not me) is a litter pig and a spreader while the other person is territorial and a bipolar neat-freak (it's a all-or-none theory I have when it comes to being tidy). I'm sensing that the missing picture to our problem is wine.  LOTS of wine. Needless to say, this ideal picture of us working in the same room?

Some Things Aren't Meant for Multi-tasking

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With a full schedule to juggle, I often find myself multi-tasking a lot in my daily life for different reasons.  One reason is to mix in some fun with some dull mundane tasks like doing laundry or mopping the floor.  Second reason is to boost productivity obviously such as listening to the news while I'm cooking or squeezing in some running while I walk the puppy.  The third reason is to reward myself from a busy day.  That usually revolves around two things that I love to do and combine them together; for example listening to some great music while I take a bath or watching my latest favorite shows while I eat a very satisfying meal. You see....it seems like lately watching my latest favorite show while I eat offend my Bunny greatly.  As recently because Bunny is busy with a project and needs his own personal working space (meaning kicking me out of my office like a sparrow taking over a martin's nest and I have to set camp in our living room), we have been having dinner in

Your Best Friend My Ass

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Sometimes I think that Bunny and I have been spoiling our puppy a little too much.  Ever since we've adopted him at 4 months old, he has never been totally alone by himself.  We always bring him along to wherever we needed to go (yup, even to the grocery stores where Bunny plays with him on the grassy patches next to the parking lot), or we simply give up the thought of going somewhere where he is not allowed to go and we have to leave him in the car all by himself.  Whenever we tell people that we haven't left him for the 11 months we've had him, they just look at us as if we've gone boinkers.  Yes, we know our Max is not a baby and can be left alone.  But we also know that leaving a puppy by himself can lead to bad habits and bad psychological trauma.  Up til now, Max hasn't chewed up any furniture or destroyed any house items.  He doesn't bark unless there is a stranger at the door.  And he has never raided the garbage cans.  Even though he looks like a Germa

Flowers

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Looking out my bathroom window this morning and seeing those beautiful pear blossoms, I realize spring is here. At that moment, I feel grateful that I am well and content. At that moment, my heart goes out to all those who are affected by the Boston bombing.

Never Say "That'll Never Happen in Real Life" When You Watch A Movie!

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This past Sunday was my bunny's birthday.  And being the "non-processed food nazi", he wanted a homemade birthday cake instead a store-bought one (that meant much more work for me...yah!!).  Since he was king of the house for the day, I had no choice but to comply.  As I googled for online recipes, I pondered on whether to make him a simple cake or to go over the top and make him a three layer chocolate-addict's utopia cake just to show him how much I love him.  At the end, my over-achieving super-ego took over. That began the process of baking three layers of different chocolate flavor cake, cooling them down, icing the top of the layers with chocolate butterscotch icing, carefully stacking them very so neatly on top of each other without breaking them, and finally icing the shit out of the outer layer of the cake (all the while batting my bunny away as he wanted to take a bit out of the corner of a layer of the cake). At last after all that were done, I too

Philosophy of Tax Filing

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Yup.  That evil time is coming up soon where most people in the country bow their heads in their palms and shamefully regret that they didn't keep their receipts and records.  And I'm pretty sure that almost everyone wonders why there isn't an easier way now that we have all this technology?  The truth is there is.  But it's like signing a contract with the devil, except with less chanting and blood and gore.  By asking the help of the tax consultants, you are basically handing all your dark dirty secrets to them....say like you spent $400 dollars on a pair of heels and try to write it off as medical/business expenses (not that I have recently!).  The reasons are the following:

Diary of a Candy Crackhead

Yes.  I finally know how it feels to be a junkie.  Here I am, sitting cold-turkey by my laptop hoping a friend or someone can give me a "help" so I can advance to the next level.  Someone?  Anyone?  Two people have already helped me.  I only need one more person.  Just one.  ONE!  I may even reconsider to believe in God.  I pray to thee the God of Candy Crush, let there be help.  Damn....useless.  I constantly renew my facebook page as I nervously bite my nails and rock back and forth in an eerie manner.  I need to play.  I know I need to sleep as I need to wake up at the crack of dawn to make milk for my little baby niece.  But I can't stop playing the darn game.  I am VERY sleep as well should I remind you?  Oh wait...did I tell you already or is this the first time I declare I am sleepy?  The snoring of my parents' puppy is lulling me to sleep but the lure of evil Candy Crush Saga is greater.  While waiting, I decide to replay the stages where I didn't score a

Too Much Candy Rots the Brain

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Ever since my sister has gotten her iphone 5, she has pretty much "convinced" me to play this Candy Rush game with her on Facebook.  Needless to say, this game is addictive and competitive.  But about 3 weeks in, I began to ponder the purpose of this game.  It is a simply a tool to waste time and energy.  Instead of spending time on my projects, I have spend pretty much all my spare time playing this silly little game.  The addiction is even more evident in my sister.  With a 9-month old baby on her hand, she rather spends her free time playing this retched addiction than to catch up on her sleep and rest.  The end result is a very cranky Mom on our hands.  So I ask again: why should I carry on with this game?  Let's look at the pros and cons: Pros: - a mental workout for my brain - a social networking on Facebook with my old friends - a way to de-stress myself Cons: - waste of time - waste of energy and tire my eyes out - no time for my projects - stressful fr

Epiphany of Cuteness

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Chubbyland in Vancouver

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It's been three and a half weeks since I came back to Vancouver for my annual family gathering trip.  I have to admit I truly miss my hubby and my puppy a WHOLE lot (and some more), and I can't wait to snuggle up to them and give them endless hugs.  Yet I'm slightly sad that my trip is half over as spending time with my little precious baby niece is just priceless.  Aside from that, I miss spending time with my parents and my sis.  Ever since I moved to the States, I rarely see my sister anymore.  This is the first time since I got married that I can spend so much time with her without rushing to here and there.  There's also my parents' dog -- my first ever puppy.  I miss him so much too and can't help but spoil him a little too much as he's been such an angel to the baby.  You just can't help but fall in love with that that little chubbyball.  Even though I have my own dog now, this little guy will always have a special place in my heart. Aside from

When Inspiration Strikes

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Since we've moved to Colorado, it's been a whole lot of snow.  It's rather funny when I think about it; living in Vancouver for most of my childhood, I have never seen so many days of endless snowing.  If lucky, there would be two days of snow on-and-off.  But almost every time, it melts within couple days.  And snow in Vancouver is like people in Vancouver...always so polite (or so Californians like to say).  Up til recently, I've always seen snow drifting elegantly down the sky as if they are all doing their little dance in midair.  Here in Colorado, snow pelts down like mad in so many different directions that I swear sometimes they fly across sideways.  Aside from that, my recent fascination lies in observing the icicles forming from the edge of pretty much everything outside.  By far, the most gigantic one I've seen is a whole story high -- it reaches from the awning of my neighbors house and forms all the way to the ground.  To those who won't believe it